1. Random Thoughts

    1. I think part of a best friend’s job  should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    2.  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize  you’re wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want  to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm  font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted  sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Map  Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know  how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot  more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    9. I  can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of  tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11. You  never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you  know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of  the day.

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after  Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my  collection…again.

    13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit  out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page  research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14.  ”Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this -  ever.

    15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?  Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times  and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the  phone and run away?

    16. I hate leaving my house confident and  looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What  a waste.

    17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so  I know not to answer when they call.

    18. I think the freezer  deserves a light as well.

    19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would  bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller  Lite than Kay.

    20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing  option

    21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was  younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when  I first saw it.

    22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery  bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

    23.  The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a  text.

    24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between  boredom and hunger.

    25. How many times is it appropriate to say  ”What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or  understand a word they said?

    26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets  dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them  forever.

    27. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive  times and still not know what time it is.